A proper update on this project is well overdue. I think I have quite seriously contemplated giving up every day for the past couple of weeks. I've been trying to put my finger on what the real issue is, and it seems to be a number of things compounding. The most perplexing problem seems to be a loss of confidence in myself. I have managed to make over 100 pieces of music in as many days, and many of them I'm really proud of, yet I have lost faith in my ability to continue. What if I've exhausted all I had in me? What if I've just proved my mediocrity 100 times over? What if I just repeat the same ideas for the next 100 and become a broken record? These fears are ridiculous, but I'm finding it hard to switch them off.
Read MoreLetting go, I can create anything. Some notes generated from the word SPIDER, and an imagined soundscape of a spider working away.
Read MoreThe third in my series of spider-themed improvisations. This piece is a little mantra to myself to simply let go of all the music I've made so far, and to not get caught up in trying to music that will equal or better it. Just keep making.
Read MoreThe second in my series of spider-themed improvisations. I have been working on a series of performance pieces for this opera, which is debuting on Thursday, so most of my music and lyrical creative energy over the past week has gone into that project. I have been indulging my cinematographic creativity as part of this project instead.
Read MoreA spider mind map, and some writing exercises, which I divided up to form a trio of improvisations. This is the first.
Read MoreFriday's deadline failure has made me realise that 2am bed times for the rest of the year are just not sustainable, especially when I am teaching at 8:30 or 9am the following day. I have generally been good at actually writing and recording the day's song before midnight (or at worst before 1am), but I don't feel my task is complete until I edit the video, upload it, write the day's blog post and then share it across my social media platforms.
Read MoreI could fib, and tell you that I recorded this yesterday and just didn't have time to upload it, but that's not really in the spirit of this project. So no, I didn't record this yesterday. I didn't even finish writing it yesterday. I had the guitar part and half the lyrics done, and then I fell asleep, exhausted, on the couch with a pencil in my hand while trying to work on the second half of the words. I gave in, and went to bed, I woke this morning refreshed but very annoyed that I hadn't just recorded what I had, instead of labouring over it when my mind had clearly switched off for the day.
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